I used to be very persistent in wanting to know my strengths and weaknesses. I asked few people, but rather than being happy with their answers, I question myself back on their feedbacks.
Husky’s feedbacks...usually tak boleh pakai. Because I don’t have strengths to him. So not very sure why he wants me to be his gf in the first place. 🤔
My senior always says it doesn’t matter, not important. But I was stubborn and I still want to know.
Until the other day I forgot what happened that struck me suddenly. That if the characteristic applies on a good way, then it’s my strengths. But if applies at the wrong direction, it will cause problems and become an issue to me. This, actually was conveyed to me many many times. But for whatever reason I couldn’t understand it till that day it just popped out from my mind.
It’s just like internet. If you use it to communicate with others and improve knowledge, it becomes a strength of internet. But if you use it to scam others, internet becomes a useless tool.
So it doesn’t matter after all.
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
Thursday, November 21, 2019
WHY WHY WHY
After working here, it really forces me to think why.
A lot of things ain't that simple anymore after I think of the whys.
Even reading a book is not simple. Instead of reading to finish off the book, I'm now trained to analyse the keywords.
Back then (and now still) I'm like a programmed system. Whatever people ask me to do, I do. But the way I do is to tick off the checklist. Done, tick. Done, tick. Done, tick.
After a year plus a lot of people (mostly colleagues and bosses) told me not to fulfill tasks because they ask me to. I need to think deeply why I'm being asked to do that. But all I knew was just the surface, never the intention behind it.
Soon I realised that I'm also applying it in my daily life. Why this why that. And I analyse others as well. Though not very often, but I do sense that it is starting slowly to be involved in my life.
It isn't a simple thing, but when I have this habit, I'll tend not to judge people or step into conclusions easily. I will instead take time to understand the reason behind it, then only decide whether to disagree on it or not.
There are still a lot of gaps to fill in, hope to settle my basics by year end and start next year a new year!
A lot of things ain't that simple anymore after I think of the whys.
Even reading a book is not simple. Instead of reading to finish off the book, I'm now trained to analyse the keywords.
Back then (and now still) I'm like a programmed system. Whatever people ask me to do, I do. But the way I do is to tick off the checklist. Done, tick. Done, tick. Done, tick.
After a year plus a lot of people (mostly colleagues and bosses) told me not to fulfill tasks because they ask me to. I need to think deeply why I'm being asked to do that. But all I knew was just the surface, never the intention behind it.
Soon I realised that I'm also applying it in my daily life. Why this why that. And I analyse others as well. Though not very often, but I do sense that it is starting slowly to be involved in my life.
It isn't a simple thing, but when I have this habit, I'll tend not to judge people or step into conclusions easily. I will instead take time to understand the reason behind it, then only decide whether to disagree on it or not.
There are still a lot of gaps to fill in, hope to settle my basics by year end and start next year a new year!
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
信任
最近一位同事遇到一个客人，贷款大致上都没问题，可是偏偏有个老板一直嫌东嫌西，完全表露出不信任。
我觉得没有人一醒来就想找人吵架，这是我听Joyce Meyer的podcast学会来的。人好好的，没有可能每一天活着的目的是要跟每个人过意不去。
会有这种情况，很多时候是因为之前遇过不愉快的经历。
不管是生意上被同伴骗过，所以不再信任下一位伙伴；又或者是感情上被前男/女友欺骗，所以很难再相信爱情。
再简单点来讲，比如说妇女们在超市看销售人员销售着烫斗，然后说，哎，那都是骗人的，之前买过很多个到最后都不能用。
我们需做的是，追根究底地去探索，不信任的根源来自哪里。有时候的确是遭人欺骗，有时候是用户者缺乏知识，又或许是当年的自己观念不一样。
与其说，你不信就算，不如问，为什么不信？
我觉得没有人一醒来就想找人吵架，这是我听Joyce Meyer的podcast学会来的。人好好的，没有可能每一天活着的目的是要跟每个人过意不去。
会有这种情况，很多时候是因为之前遇过不愉快的经历。
不管是生意上被同伴骗过，所以不再信任下一位伙伴；又或者是感情上被前男/女友欺骗，所以很难再相信爱情。
再简单点来讲，比如说妇女们在超市看销售人员销售着烫斗，然后说，哎，那都是骗人的，之前买过很多个到最后都不能用。
我们需做的是，追根究底地去探索，不信任的根源来自哪里。有时候的确是遭人欺骗，有时候是用户者缺乏知识，又或许是当年的自己观念不一样。
与其说，你不信就算，不如问，为什么不信？
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
后来
后来，我学会了，不失望。
从前从前以为终于有了个突破，能向父母交代，我的选择没有错。可是那希望转变了失望，我记得我遗憾了好久。
然后机会多了，依然会有失望的时候。销售就想做生意一样，平时商场看到的产品与服务，不管是卖月饼还是卖拖把，大家都经历过被拒绝的经历。
最近也看到本地的一个企业家，4年前在他创造的公司退股后，问了他老婆一句话，如果他想要再创办新公司，她会同意吗？因为在还没成功之前可能他们的生活开销要比较谨慎去处理，不能时常去旅行，不能买名牌等。他的老婆只是讲了一句：我不需要那些东西，虽然那些是很有趣的东西。我只知道我嫁了给一个有上进心的人，你想做什么就去做吧，我和孩子会支持你。
踏出的那一步，也不知道未来是否会成功。只能一步一脚印，让拼图一块块地拼成一个图。可是如果不成功，整个lifestyle 就会被degrade。
Faith is when you believe the unseen.
圣经里的一句话，我却还是无法很踏实地相信。即使相信，也会动摇。动摇了，只能提醒自己，不管如何一定要往前进，没有退路。从以前回到家还是一直用电脑做工，到现在我能分配时间看电视陪家人，我觉得某些事情有进步了，亦有很多东西还是停留在原地，甚至是退步了。
待人处事，我还不会。我以为我有的是诚恳，可一旦到了关键的那一刻，我还是心虚了，我还是会因此而得罪别人。
从以前担心钱不知何时才会进入口袋，到现在看到了钱，看到了一点收获，我还是处于不安的状态。可这毕竟是学习的过程，只能让自己加速地学会。到最后怕的不是被淘汰，而是输给了时间。
只能希望在每个挫折当中，当作是为了更好的未来而做准备，每个成功当中铭记于胜利的关键点。
也只希望，后来的我不会后悔现在做的决定，后来的我可以告诉现在的自己，不要放弃，尽管看不清前面的路，我的转折点很可能就在前方的不远处。也要记得享受每个过程，毕竟生活是精彩的。
从前从前以为终于有了个突破，能向父母交代，我的选择没有错。可是那希望转变了失望，我记得我遗憾了好久。
然后机会多了，依然会有失望的时候。销售就想做生意一样，平时商场看到的产品与服务，不管是卖月饼还是卖拖把，大家都经历过被拒绝的经历。
最近也看到本地的一个企业家，4年前在他创造的公司退股后，问了他老婆一句话，如果他想要再创办新公司，她会同意吗？因为在还没成功之前可能他们的生活开销要比较谨慎去处理，不能时常去旅行，不能买名牌等。他的老婆只是讲了一句：我不需要那些东西，虽然那些是很有趣的东西。我只知道我嫁了给一个有上进心的人，你想做什么就去做吧，我和孩子会支持你。
踏出的那一步，也不知道未来是否会成功。只能一步一脚印，让拼图一块块地拼成一个图。可是如果不成功，整个lifestyle 就会被degrade。
Faith is when you believe the unseen.
圣经里的一句话，我却还是无法很踏实地相信。即使相信，也会动摇。动摇了，只能提醒自己，不管如何一定要往前进，没有退路。从以前回到家还是一直用电脑做工，到现在我能分配时间看电视陪家人，我觉得某些事情有进步了，亦有很多东西还是停留在原地，甚至是退步了。
待人处事，我还不会。我以为我有的是诚恳，可一旦到了关键的那一刻，我还是心虚了，我还是会因此而得罪别人。
从以前担心钱不知何时才会进入口袋，到现在看到了钱，看到了一点收获，我还是处于不安的状态。可这毕竟是学习的过程，只能让自己加速地学会。到最后怕的不是被淘汰，而是输给了时间。
只能希望在每个挫折当中，当作是为了更好的未来而做准备，每个成功当中铭记于胜利的关键点。
也只希望，后来的我不会后悔现在做的决定，后来的我可以告诉现在的自己，不要放弃，尽管看不清前面的路，我的转折点很可能就在前方的不远处。也要记得享受每个过程，毕竟生活是精彩的。
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Mask
Often time I feel that I’m wearing mask all the time.
At work I need to be very careful with my words, being said by seniors that the words that came out from my mouth offends people a lot even though 99% of the time I don’t mean it. Left 1% is when I mean it but people don’t feel offended haha.
I just hate to think talking in a nicer way. I just want to express what I want to say. Too bad in the sales industry, you need to think how to say it the way people want to hear it. Then only people will trust you and build relationship with you.
At home I too need to be careful. When sales are good, I hide it as it’s not constant, trying to avoid my parents from setting a high expectation of me that I’m doing super good; when sales are bad I hide it because well... we all know it. So I’m trying to be as neutral as I can.
When I’m alone, I just want to do my things quietly. Watch tv, read a book.
Only when w Husky I can be myself. Though, I’m not that sure whether he’s 100% himself when he’s with me or not. Hahahahaha.
Nevertheless, this is life and all of us have a role to play. I’m constantly trying to improve myself on focus. Not to distract myself easily with WhatsApp messages unless it’s an urgent call.
At work I need to be very careful with my words, being said by seniors that the words that came out from my mouth offends people a lot even though 99% of the time I don’t mean it. Left 1% is when I mean it but people don’t feel offended haha.
I just hate to think talking in a nicer way. I just want to express what I want to say. Too bad in the sales industry, you need to think how to say it the way people want to hear it. Then only people will trust you and build relationship with you.
At home I too need to be careful. When sales are good, I hide it as it’s not constant, trying to avoid my parents from setting a high expectation of me that I’m doing super good; when sales are bad I hide it because well... we all know it. So I’m trying to be as neutral as I can.
When I’m alone, I just want to do my things quietly. Watch tv, read a book.
Only when w Husky I can be myself. Though, I’m not that sure whether he’s 100% himself when he’s with me or not. Hahahahaha.
Nevertheless, this is life and all of us have a role to play. I’m constantly trying to improve myself on focus. Not to distract myself easily with WhatsApp messages unless it’s an urgent call.
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Fat Liao!
This is the remark I got lately.
I already felt it when my usual shorts got tighten, I almost want to blame the washing machine for shrinking my shorts.
Husky got fat as well hahahahahaha he’s gotten rounder and chubbier hehehe. Our friends tease him when we met up last month for a drink, and now every time I see him I got to rub his belly as if he’s pregnant haha!
I would like to take up a No Sugar Challenge to see if I can lose weight or that my skin complexion will be getting better but..... that means I can’t eat 99% of food in the world. Sigh.
Of course I’m starting to do some light workouts on abs to minimise my tummy. But see how far I’ll go on this workout journey. Haha.
Last quarter is already here, and I still remember telling Husky that my goal is to keep fit for new year resolution, and look where did my goal went. Into the drain. Tsk.
Gotta stay healthy now! Else there will be lotsa problems as we get older. Am sounding like an old woman, ain’t I? 🤣
Thursday, September 19, 2019
The Cunning World
I was in Pontian, Husky's hometown for few days.
Though I did work a while on Monday, did some calls because a customer was going to fly overseas in the afternoon, follow up some cases, but I can say that that was quite a relax weekend.
And all I did was playing some childish games on iPad, reading books and watching some videos.
Life is good, especially with all the food that was prepared hahahaha. Not that I wasn't fed at home back in KL, my mum will surely kill me if I say that. :P
Back to reality.
Changed some lunch partners during lunch break yesterday, learned something new, knew some different side of stories happening here and there.
And realised that, maaaaaannn, this corporate world really reminds me of my work life back then in the bank. The politics going on, sabotaging staff to hit some target and get incentives.
I'm glad that I'm not part of the politics now. Not that my company doesn't have politics, but is more like a family argument more than politics.
So hard to have people whom we don't have any self-interest with. It's like whoever we meet, there's always a motive there. To earn their money, to gain some advantage. I've forgotten how pure a relationship without any motives.
Though I did work a while on Monday, did some calls because a customer was going to fly overseas in the afternoon, follow up some cases, but I can say that that was quite a relax weekend.
And all I did was playing some childish games on iPad, reading books and watching some videos.
Life is good, especially with all the food that was prepared hahahaha. Not that I wasn't fed at home back in KL, my mum will surely kill me if I say that. :P
Back to reality.
Changed some lunch partners during lunch break yesterday, learned something new, knew some different side of stories happening here and there.
And realised that, maaaaaannn, this corporate world really reminds me of my work life back then in the bank. The politics going on, sabotaging staff to hit some target and get incentives.
I'm glad that I'm not part of the politics now. Not that my company doesn't have politics, but is more like a family argument more than politics.
So hard to have people whom we don't have any self-interest with. It's like whoever we meet, there's always a motive there. To earn their money, to gain some advantage. I've forgotten how pure a relationship without any motives.
Sunday, September 1, 2019
Operation Playboy
This is a book by Kathryn Bonella, a true story based on how people smuggling drugs into different countries, living a luxurious life and getting caught behind the bars.
For some reason, I'm very, very fond of true crime stories, always wanting to know the masterminds behind those criminals, and the reasons behind the crimes they made. More than half of the time is due to greed, others, more to their ego.
Sometimes I'll be too immersed in the incidents till I can actually broke down and cry. The most recent was when I watched Line Walker 2: Invisible Spy (使徒行者 II) with Husky. The theme was about human trafficking where terrorists kidnap orphans and train them to be assassins when they grow up.
Before that I watched a movie in TV (forgot the movie title), human trafficking happened where girls (mostly orphans also, so that human traffickers don't have to waste time dealing with family members who track their lost ones down) were kidnapped, dolled up, and sold to the black market where the girls were auctioned to rich guys. Which eventually lead to prostitution. That makes me view prostitutes at a different perspective. Those who do it for quick money is different case, but others are actually due to no choice given.
Back to Operation Playboy. The author aka reporter actually got to interview the drug smugglers in prison and get a full picture from different different people who are involved. Poor people do it for money, rich people do it for adrenaline. And the technique used the most to smuggle drugs in this book is through surf boards and paragliders. NOW I look at surfers & paragliders in a different perspective too.
Back then, athletes are just athletes. They compete in sports. That's all. Now that I have read different books and watch different movies, they actually help me to see the world in a way that I've never imagine. You can imagine surfers and paragliders who compete to the international level are involved in drug smuggling. The worst thing is they smuggle drugs into Indonesia, known for death penalty for drugs.
All it takes is just one creative mind to block all the possibilities of being caught (the X-Rays can't scan the drugs, nor do the sniff-dogs be able to sniff the presence of drugs). The reward is huge, and for youngsters who like to surf and paraglide, doing this is more to satisfy their adrenaline rush. The excitement when they've successfully went through immigration and immigration.
Smuggling drugs is a long term thing. It's not like murder, where somebody found out their love one is missing, report to police and investigation begins. Well, of course there are exceptions but there's another story. Smuggling drugs can be a great achievement over the years, even in their whole lives.
I haven't even finish reading the whole book, but it sparks my interest until I Google-d up on the news in 2015 where 2 Australians were sentenced to death in Indonesia. I remember that incident was so huge it got into the headlines of newspapers everywhere because Australia government intervene in the incident so that the 2 inmates can escape death penalty. Unfortunately they don't, and they were executed by firing squad. It didn't really matter to me back then, but now that I read Operation Playboy, it makes me want to know more about the Aussie case.
For some reason, I'm very, very fond of true crime stories, always wanting to know the masterminds behind those criminals, and the reasons behind the crimes they made. More than half of the time is due to greed, others, more to their ego.
Sometimes I'll be too immersed in the incidents till I can actually broke down and cry. The most recent was when I watched Line Walker 2: Invisible Spy (使徒行者 II) with Husky. The theme was about human trafficking where terrorists kidnap orphans and train them to be assassins when they grow up.
Before that I watched a movie in TV (forgot the movie title), human trafficking happened where girls (mostly orphans also, so that human traffickers don't have to waste time dealing with family members who track their lost ones down) were kidnapped, dolled up, and sold to the black market where the girls were auctioned to rich guys. Which eventually lead to prostitution. That makes me view prostitutes at a different perspective. Those who do it for quick money is different case, but others are actually due to no choice given.
Back to Operation Playboy. The author aka reporter actually got to interview the drug smugglers in prison and get a full picture from different different people who are involved. Poor people do it for money, rich people do it for adrenaline. And the technique used the most to smuggle drugs in this book is through surf boards and paragliders. NOW I look at surfers & paragliders in a different perspective too.
Back then, athletes are just athletes. They compete in sports. That's all. Now that I have read different books and watch different movies, they actually help me to see the world in a way that I've never imagine. You can imagine surfers and paragliders who compete to the international level are involved in drug smuggling. The worst thing is they smuggle drugs into Indonesia, known for death penalty for drugs.
All it takes is just one creative mind to block all the possibilities of being caught (the X-Rays can't scan the drugs, nor do the sniff-dogs be able to sniff the presence of drugs). The reward is huge, and for youngsters who like to surf and paraglide, doing this is more to satisfy their adrenaline rush. The excitement when they've successfully went through immigration and immigration.
Smuggling drugs is a long term thing. It's not like murder, where somebody found out their love one is missing, report to police and investigation begins. Well, of course there are exceptions but there's another story. Smuggling drugs can be a great achievement over the years, even in their whole lives.
I haven't even finish reading the whole book, but it sparks my interest until I Google-d up on the news in 2015 where 2 Australians were sentenced to death in Indonesia. I remember that incident was so huge it got into the headlines of newspapers everywhere because Australia government intervene in the incident so that the 2 inmates can escape death penalty. Unfortunately they don't, and they were executed by firing squad. It didn't really matter to me back then, but now that I read Operation Playboy, it makes me want to know more about the Aussie case.
Tuesday, August 20, 2019
Vision
Yesterday I downloaded few apps to look see what are the apps that are useful to me.
One of them is Vision Board.
Inside there are examples, and I knew what's the reason my actions never go tally with my plannings. And my motivation of working is so surface.
Because I keep on having this fear that I'll fail to achieve my goals. Therefore I do not dare to really take time and visualise what I want in the future. I do not dare to dream big to avoid disappointments.
The what-ifs cloud my mind, and it just keep me floating and floating but it doesn't really motivate me to do what I need to do.
I admire people who start from 0 and be able to reach the top. But other than admiring, I do nothing different basically.
What else do you do to keep yourself moving?
One of them is Vision Board.
Inside there are examples, and I knew what's the reason my actions never go tally with my plannings. And my motivation of working is so surface.
Because I keep on having this fear that I'll fail to achieve my goals. Therefore I do not dare to really take time and visualise what I want in the future. I do not dare to dream big to avoid disappointments.
The what-ifs cloud my mind, and it just keep me floating and floating but it doesn't really motivate me to do what I need to do.
I admire people who start from 0 and be able to reach the top. But other than admiring, I do nothing different basically.
What else do you do to keep yourself moving?
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