2020

This is the year I’m turning 26 years old.

I don’t know bout you, but to me, Wednesday means it’s going to be weekends soon. And 26 year old means I’m reaching 30 year old soon.

25 years old was still a going-to-be-an-adult-but-not-quite-adult age for me. It was a trial and error year because I feel that I’m still young and I can still keep trying things.

But when 2020 is here, I was just suddenly awaken to the reality that, hey, I’m an adult already, gotta take responsibility seriously now. In 5 years time I probably be someone’s wife, someone’s mum, someone’s boss, my parents are getting older and I haven’t achieve anything big yet.

I still have a lot of to-do lists, and my goal to be healthier and slimmer has again being brought forward to this year. And I failed to attend at least 1 workshop in The Craft Crowd last year, be it modern calligraphy or brush lettering.

Why are goals not achieved? Maybe because we’re not serious about it and we have the tendency of making excuses to do it later. Later this week, this month, this year. Before you know it, poof, 2019 has disappeared and you have no power to bring it back.

Breaking down goals make it seemingly easier to achieve. Just like running marathon, achieving 2km bit by bit is far more easier than running 42km straight. But the goal remains: to finish the race.

And nope, running a marathon is never on my list. Bahaha.

Reading a book a month, yes. A lot of times I find myself wasting so much time on social media browsing other people’s stories that I didn’t use it fully to at least read a chapter a day.

I also promise myself something: that when I’m indecisive, I’ll choose the tough road. Then I’ll stop wasting time weighing the decisions. But instead when decision is made firmly, I’ll focus more on what to do and how to do to achieve it. ALSO, I’ll put in 110% of effort in doing something, and leave the results to God. It’ll save me so much of heartache and sleepless nights, knowing that I’ve already done my best and let God take care of the rest. Many times I didn’t put in maximum effort and only did the surface job, which causes a lot of  “if only I’ve done that, if only I’ve done this” regretfulness.

Also! I want to get a hobby, probably reading fiction books to release stress. I’ve been focusing too much on work last year, and due to lack of discipline, I always drag my work and do useless stuff.  So I would also like to set a timeline for everything, so that things can be done within the timeline and do not bring too much of future stuff to do it now. And allocate maybe half or one hour for reading just to take my mind off work.

Basically I would like to practice no wasting time this year, and see a change in my result.

Cheers!

Review of 2019

So I’ve summarised a list of  top 18 things that had happened in 2019.

1. My mum finally let me drive!
It’s not really a thing to remember but for someone who only gets to drive when she’s 25 year old, this is definitely something that I want to record it down. Thanks to my persistence of not leaving my current job, I was forced to speak to my mum about driving and my mum was forced to let me drive. Haha. Indirectly force la ok. Also she has let me fetched her few times to shopping malls, dropping her off while I went to my appointments and fetched her back home. It’s a good sign! 🥰

2. In total I travel to 9 different places, which includes 3 different countries and 4 different local states. First I went to Kuantan for company kick off in Jan, Hanoi during my birthday while following my dad to work, but it wasn’t a pleasant trip actually 😅 Then in May, I went to Hokkaido with my parents! Otaru was the place I love the most in the whole trip. In June I went to Johor, Husky’s hometown for the 1st time, meeting his parents for the 1st time as well ngehehe #nervous, and also I went to Bangkok with my colleagues (semi-free trip by Allianz as I accidentally hit the challenge haha) Then in October I went to Malacca, local trip with parents after all these years of not going to local for holiday, and went to Krabi for company trip again, this time is for Halloween! Almost all of my colleagues went and it was very very fun. From walking the streets with our Halloween costume to island hopping and conquering the whole swimming pool for monkey games, it was just so, so fun. And in November, I went for a team review trip in Penang. It was ages since I went there as well, but other than getting massage, all I remember was overused my brain for review purpose. Haha. But of course, it was a fruitful trip as it helps me to understand myself better. The next day I arrived in KL from Penang, I got to pack and depart to Phuket the next day! Everyone was saying that I might as well sleep in airport hahaha #mymumplansone

3. After 25 years, finally I started indoor wall climbing. It was a childhood dream come true. I wanted to climb when I was small, and I remember having the chance to try in a shopping mall (which I think is also in One Utama) but I didn’t because I was wearing long skirt. Actually it didn’t matter because it was just a short climb, probably I was afraid back then. And this year Nek wanted to try, so both of us went for Camp5’s Basic Wall Course and started to climb. By the end of the year, even Husky tried it because of his friends. Somehow I like bouldering more. Maybe not as mafan as the Top Rope where you need a person to belay you, and not as scary as the Autobelay because when you come down, you fly down. I mean free fall. IT IS SCARY. 😖😫 Maybe i should try Bump in Jaya One next year.

4. After 3 years of dating, finally I met Husky’s family! Road to Johor was tiring, even when I’m not the one driving. Haha. I was kinda worried that I can’t mix with his family but the 1st thing that his mum said when we arrived was: “神经病啊你，回来没有讲!” [You siao ah, come back never say!] Then I also echo her words, saying ya la he la, don’t want tell you he’s coming back. But thank God they are very nice to me and I feel just like home with them.

5. I moved out from my house. A week. To opposite street. Husky’s house. HAHAHAHAHA. Pardon me for laughing for running away from home, that time wasn’t funny at all. But now to think of it, IT IS FUNNY. Because I packed 5 luggages, and moved to Husky’s house which is just opposite street. And because when I moved out my parents weren’t at home, so when I came back with 5 big luggages my mum looked me at one kind. 🤣 Reason of moving out is work related of course. But we eventually managed to overcome it. ☺️

6. Did I mention that I travel to 9 different places? Actually I was wrong. It was 10 places! If you considered hospital as one of them. 😏 So I was diagnosed with dengue, and hospitalised for 6 days. My total bill for 6days5nights were around RM 15k, technically one of the finest “hotel” that I ever stayed in. It was terrible, but at the same time I felt grateful. Terrible because I needed to take 4 times blood test a day to monitor my white blood cells and platelet count, sometimes the nurse can’t find my vein and cause super pain and blue black to me. It was terrible also because I was so itchy I couldn’t sleep, literally scratched myself to sleep; and the dripping machine beeping sound was my worse nightmare. Grateful because I had appetite to eat after the 1st day of admission, I know I’m going to be well soon but it all depends on my report. Also grateful because I survived. A friend’s  friend and a lawyer of our company passed away due to dengue not long after my discharge. It was creepy to hear the news, being a survivor of the same condition.

7. I changed my phone! It’s a small thing but it’s still a good thing. The phone I want was out of stock and we went to few places before managed to get it in The Gardens.

8. For the 1st time I watched concert in Genting with my parents and Husky and also my colleagues. It was free tickets by the way, and the singer wasn’t someone very famous but it was a good experience anyway.

9. My parents experienced trees fallen on their car when they were coming back home during a rainy day. The windscreen cracked, the side mirrors were broken, couldn’t start the car either, thank God for people who came and helped to remove the fallen branches, one even took a parang and chopped off thicker branches. Thank God my parents weren’t hurt, and thank God for angels around them. 😇

10. After the fallen trees incident, while my dad was waiting for the car to be fixed, he ended up being promoted and gotten another new company car. God’s timing is always perfect. :’)

11. Husky got a full time job! At least now his life is better than before. :’)

12. One of our extended family members got himself a major trouble and is currently serving his punishment while waiting for results, but at least he’s protected.

13. Dad got a free MiBand 3 from lucky draw!

14. I got closer to Bernice this year, probably due to similar family background and we are also MRT kakis haha!

15. Husky and I attended 2 weddings this year, one is my ex-colleague and another is his badminton friend. So many of our friends got hitched this year. But 2 weddings are enough la haha #toomanyredbombs

16. Met up with my high school buddies, Hezrin and Auni after 5 years OMG. These people ah, need to force them out from house one only they are willing to come out and see me. #willseethemagaininnext5years 😒

17. This year is a gadget year as Husky gave me a power bank and hard disc as gifts for me this year haha!

18. FINALLY IN A MILLION YEARS I SEE COLOUR ON MY HAIR! Got my hair dyed brown in salon for the 1st time. Last 2 times I used self-dyed bubble wash but I need to be under the sun only can see the colour. I wasn’t sure whether I like my new hairstyle either at first, but it was okay after that.

So these are my top 18 highlights of 2019. Hope that 2020 will be a better one as I get rid of my weaknesses and use them as my strengths! Changes aren’t easy but it helps in growing. Especially when I’m turning 26 next year! Feel like turning into 30 anytime soon. 😂

Strengths & Weaknesses

I used to be very persistent in wanting to know my strengths and weaknesses. I asked few people, but rather than being happy with their answers, I question myself back on their feedbacks.

Husky’s feedbacks...usually tak boleh pakai. Because I don’t have strengths to him. So not very sure why he wants me to be his gf in the first place. 🤔

My senior always says it doesn’t matter, not important. But I was stubborn and I still want to know.

Until the other day I forgot what happened that struck me suddenly. That if the characteristic applies on a good way, then it’s my strengths. But if applies at the wrong direction, it will cause problems and become an issue to me. This, actually was conveyed to me many many times. But for whatever reason I couldn’t understand it till that day it just popped out from my mind.

It’s just like internet. If you use it to communicate with others and improve knowledge, it becomes a strength of internet. But if you use it to scam others, internet becomes a useless tool.

So it doesn’t matter after all.

WHY WHY WHY

After working here, it really forces me to think why.

A lot of things ain't that simple anymore after I think of the whys.

Even reading a book is not simple. Instead of reading to finish off the book, I'm now trained to analyse the keywords.

Back then (and now still) I'm like a programmed system. Whatever people ask me to do, I do. But the way I do is to tick off the checklist. Done, tick. Done, tick. Done, tick.

After a year plus a lot of people (mostly colleagues and bosses) told me not to fulfill tasks because they ask me to. I need to think deeply why I'm being asked to do that. But all I knew was just the surface, never the intention behind it.

Soon I realised that I'm also applying it in my daily life. Why this why that. And I analyse others as well. Though not very often, but I do sense that it is starting slowly to be involved in my life.

It isn't a simple thing, but when I have this habit, I'll tend not to judge people or step into conclusions easily. I will instead take time to understand the reason behind it, then only decide whether to disagree on it or not.

There are still a lot of gaps to fill in, hope to settle my basics by year end and start next year a new year!

Mask

Often time I feel that I’m wearing mask all the time.

At work I need to be very careful with my words, being said by seniors that the words that came out from my mouth offends people a lot even though 99% of the time I don’t mean it. Left 1% is when I mean it but people don’t feel offended haha.

I just hate to think talking in a nicer way. I just want to express what I want to say. Too bad in the sales industry, you need to think how to say it the way people want to hear it. Then only people will trust you and build relationship with you.

At home I too need to be careful. When sales are good, I hide it as it’s not constant, trying to avoid my parents from setting a high expectation of me that I’m doing super good; when sales are bad I hide it because well... we all know it. So I’m trying to be as neutral as I can.

When I’m alone, I just want to do my things quietly. Watch tv, read a book.

Only when w Husky I can be myself. Though, I’m not that sure whether he’s 100% himself when he’s with me or not. Hahahahaha.

Nevertheless, this is life and all of us have a role to play. I’m constantly trying to improve myself on focus. Not to distract myself easily with WhatsApp messages unless it’s an urgent call.

Operation Playboy

This is a book by Kathryn Bonella, a true story based on how people smuggling drugs into different countries, living a luxurious life and getting caught behind the bars.

For some reason, I'm very, very fond of true crime stories, always wanting to know the masterminds behind those criminals, and the reasons behind the crimes they made. More than half of the time is due to greed, others, more to their ego.

Sometimes I'll be too immersed in the incidents till I can actually broke down and cry. The most recent was when I watched Line Walker 2: Invisible Spy (使徒行者 II) with Husky. The theme was about human trafficking where terrorists kidnap orphans and train them to be assassins when they grow up. 

Before that I watched a movie in TV (forgot the movie title), human trafficking happened where girls (mostly orphans also, so that human traffickers don't have to waste time dealing with family members who track their lost ones down) were kidnapped, dolled up, and sold to the black market where the girls were auctioned to rich guys. Which eventually lead to prostitution. That makes me view prostitutes at a different perspective. Those who do it for quick money is different case, but others are actually due to no choice given.

Back to Operation Playboy. The author aka reporter actually got to interview the drug smugglers in prison and get a full picture from different different people who are involved. Poor people do it for money, rich people do it for adrenaline. And the technique used the most to smuggle drugs in this book is through surf boards and paragliders. NOW I look at surfers & paragliders in a different perspective too.

Back then, athletes are just athletes. They compete in sports. That's all. Now that I have read different books and watch different movies, they actually help me to see the world in a way that I've never imagine. You can imagine surfers and paragliders who compete to the international level are involved in drug smuggling. The worst thing is they smuggle drugs into Indonesia, known for death penalty for drugs.

All it takes is just one creative mind to block all the possibilities of being caught (the X-Rays can't scan the drugs, nor do the sniff-dogs be able to sniff the presence of drugs). The reward is huge, and for youngsters who like to surf and paraglide, doing this is more to satisfy their adrenaline rush. The excitement when they've successfully went through immigration and immigration.

Smuggling drugs is a long term thing. It's not like murder, where somebody found out their love one is missing, report to police and investigation begins. Well, of course there are exceptions but there's another story. Smuggling drugs can be a great achievement over the years, even in their whole lives.

I haven't even finish reading the whole book, but it sparks my interest until I Google-d up on the news in 2015 where 2 Australians were sentenced to death in Indonesia. I remember that incident was so huge it got into the headlines of newspapers everywhere because Australia government intervene in the incident so that the 2 inmates can escape death penalty. Unfortunately they don't, and they were executed by firing squad. It didn't really matter to me back then, but now that I read Operation Playboy, it makes me want to know more about the Aussie case.

Vision

Yesterday I downloaded few apps to look see what are the apps that are useful to me.

One of them is Vision Board.

Inside there are examples, and I knew what's the reason my actions never go tally with my plannings. And my motivation of working is so surface.

Because I keep on having this fear that I'll fail to achieve my goals. Therefore I do not dare to really take time and visualise what I want in the future. I do not dare to dream big to avoid disappointments.

The what-ifs cloud my mind, and it just keep me floating and floating but it doesn't really motivate me to do what I need to do.

I admire people who start from 0 and be able to reach the top. But other than admiring, I do nothing different basically.

What else do you do to keep yourself moving?

Why Me?

It has been more than 3 weeks since I was discharged from hospital.

From that day till now, I had heard news of friend's friend passed away due to dengue, I had heard the news of dengue cases rising and we need to be very careful, more cases of deaths due to dengue, and most recently, a partner of our company is in critical condition due to dengue for a month. Till now I still feel shaken when I heard dengue cases especially those who are close to me. And when I feel heaty due to the weather nowadays, I'm being sensitive and scare that I might be getting dengue again. 

Also Typhoon Lekima hit Langkawi/Penang, and further to Taiwan and now China. Death tolls risen tremendously.

Not to forget, the protests in HK. Their protests reminded me of our past rallies, which had always been peaceful (at least I remember Bersih rallies were quite peaceful), but theirs, oh my gosh. It's just so violence.

Incidents like these make me wonder, why I'm survived from the dengue incident when my friend's friend passed away? Why I'm in a place whereby we're very protected by typhoons? Why violent protests don't take place in M'sia and we're safe from the violence?

I must have certain duties to fulfill and I need to seek God's voice to find out what are they. First and foremost is of course being grateful. 

What's next?

Dengue

So I was just discharged from hospital last Friday due to dengue. I was never admitted to hospital other than 2 times when I was a baby (I was born in a hospital, and I was admitted for fits when I was really small).

Visited my grandparents in hospital while they were still around, but basically that was my experience going to hospital.

Oh, watching tv dramas don't count, do they?

So when I almost blackout twice, my parents sent me to hospital and I felt very frightened. It's like, there will be needles poking me, doctors telling me bad news on my report.

I called Husky to notify him that I might need to be admitted to hospital, cried once. He came to visit me while I was still in emergency ward, cried twice. On day 3 the nurse couldn't find my vein but still die die want to take my blood, it was so pain I cried the third time. In front of Husky also.

This story tells us that Husky is always there when I cried. Or that he was there, that's why I cried. So he shouldn't be there. Sure something bad will happen one HAHAHAHA!

Okay just kidding.

Basically what happened to me was, nurses barging in for BP and temperature checks every 2 hours, blood test every 6 hours, staffs barging in for various reasons such as deliver newspaper, deliver 4 meals, clean the room etc etc. So I had a lot of visitors. Hahahaha. I had much rest during the afternoon, at least not so many staffs coming in and out. But I always had phobia when I saw nurses coming in with a trolley. I would always ask, nak ambil darah ke? Sometimes it was just BP checks, so I was relieved. As I totally lost what was the time, I always had to ask the question. And bringing the drip thing in and out is very mafan thing.

I appreciate my freedom a lot after that. To be able to move around freely without my new pet (the drip thing?), and to be able to use my right hand freely, because bending in different angle will cause my hand to feel pain. Oh btw I had trained my left hand to bath and even wash hair on its own LOL.

The meals, for first few days I was pretty excited to choose my own food. After that my appetite just dropped (I'm scared of brown rice now!) and my food choice was nasi lemak and potato wedges. Hahaha so not healthy.

Husky visited me every night, my parents came in twice a day (must be super hectic for them 😩😩😩), Nek visited me once, she even wanted to barge in and wake me up but too bad I was already awaken (thanks to the usual BP checks). My colleagues wanted to visit me but somehow I felt lazy to meet them. It's like, I didn't have a good rest and I don't know which exact time you'll be reaching, and I certainly don't want to wait for you. So I might as well just sleep and ask them not to come. Hahahaha.

But finally after 6 days I was allowed to be discharged!! My legs felt weak, because all I did was eat and sleep for whole week. No places for me to walk around also. And thank God for medical card! Can't imagine sharing my room with another patient, who might bring his or her kampung to visit (and even overnight!) there.

This flower has a funny story. So it was supposed to be my 3rd anniversary with Husky, and he already placed order for this flower on Thurs, and to give me on Sunday (our anniversary was on following Wednesday). Mana tau I go masuk hospital, and he had to give me in hospital, which becomes gift for a patient more than for anniversary purpose. Hahahaha!

Basically end of my dengue story. 😁

慌

今天发生的事真的让我毕生难忘。

死亡，离别，我身边都出现过了。

唯独朋友结婚，朋友怀孕，我倒还没经历过。

今天陪她去做检验，本来心情是，一，真的有了，开心之余让人懊恼的是怎么向家人交代，还有未来要做出很大的改变；二，如果没有，那就照常过生活。

可是出现了第三种现象，就是胎儿不保。我们都呆了，几率是很小，却发生在她身上。

我不知道如何安慰她，那个他也不在她身边，我同感深受，感到无助。在最需要他的时候他不在，做任何决定都想与他商量，奈何，不能。

我当场都想哭了。我们讲的是一个生命，而且需要做手术的危机，对未来有很大的影响。

庆幸的是，到最后家人一个个都知道，一个个都赶过来时我才安心离开。没有东西比家人在身边更感动，更安全了。

希望她健康平安，也希望那个他尽快回到她的身边，不要再让她独自承受了。

Relationship Consultant

I don't know since when I've become a relationship consultant.

First is my customers who after signed everything, after a month said they want to divorce, cancel purchase. Then after my consultation, they okay back.

Then 2 of my colleagues ask me why their girls like this like that, and after my consultation they agreed with my analyse.

I'm like, hello, I do loans one, I don't manage people's relationship okay. My face got show that I'm so pro in relationships mea!

Indoor Rock Climbing

So today I finally tried out indoor rock climbing!!! Been wanting to this out since I was very young.

Still remembering the time when there was a mini wall in the center of One U Concourse for kids, but I was wearing long skirt, so I didn't try out. :(

And after more than 10 years, I finally did my 1st indoor rock climbing! Somemore w my Nek!

She was complaining and grumbling about her body ache from pole dancing yesterday, I just stared at her with the you-are-the-one-who-ask-me-to-climb-today look.

So we went to Camp5 for the climb. Convenient as it's in One U only. First 2 hours were boring, like all sports, you just need to know the basics and of course safety measures. Then it came to the practical part, where I just realised I almost freak out when I'm halfway the wall. And because I'm too scared to lift my legs higher than my waist. Probably because I can't trust my belayer which is Nek HAHAHAHA!! Kidding, we're so new, I don't think we trust ourselves too. xD

We took turns being the climber and belayer (the one who pull and push the rope for you to climb up and down), we were also introduced to the Autowall (don't know what's the name), which is very interesting as you don't need a belayer, just that when you come down, you just fly down.

The scariest part was the climbing down part because you need to let go of your hands from the wall and hold the ropy only. For the Autowall you can't even hold onto the rope!

And the last wall was the Boulder Cave, very short wall, you don't even need a rope. But just in case you fall, there are cushions down there to support you.

Would love to go back there always! And yes, I got my Basic Wall Course certificate which allows me to climb walls everywhere in the world!!

For more information, do click here!

2018_2019

After weeks and weeks of dumping my blog, I'm finally back. :D

If I were to use one word to describe 2018, there's no doubt other than: C H A L L E N G I N G

May I add another word in front: V E R Y  C H A L L E N G I N G

My 2018 started off with a bang, having celebrate New Year in Guangzhou, going to China again on end of January, this time to Zhang Jia Jie, company trip as I had hit the target. Actually I also hit another incentive trip, which is to Osaka in July. But things got sour, and depressed. Everyday going to work oh-so early, thought of doing extra work to improve myself, end up having fear at 9.30am daily when walk-ins began to come in, and relief when it was 4pm as the shutter was pulled down.

Relief, but stressed too, as we submit daily report into the WhatsApp chatgroup, waiting for managers to shoot us for poor sales figure.

So I made another career jump. A risky jump as this current job has no basic at all and I was just struggling to survive, flexible timing yet too flexible and time is easily wasted without proper planning.

Disagreement between parents and I, just add salt to my wound. Hurt so badly, different type of stress, but can't figure which one is worse. Struggling to grow up, wanted to be independent so badly, but the string keeps holding me back.

There was a happy ending towards end of 2018, but not too long ago things just back to square one.

Even Husky was affected, and I was deeply guilty for it.

Other than all these challenging moments, I went to church camp once again (missed out 2017 one as it clashed with my Taiwan trip), and went to mission trip again. Not to forget, the long awaiting Europe trip. My parents had always planned for it once my dad has longer break due to retirement, finally it has arrived. Just feel that time passed too fast.

Missed out blogging so many weeks, promised myself to blog every week but always had something coming up so I just ignore it.Wanted to be slim, once again failed. Wanted to put braces, wanted to wear Cheongsam, wanted to own my own car, wanted to learn brush lettering and modern calligraphy, all these things are just not happening.

What's the use of writing out goals and resolutions when you just can't fulfill them all?!

Am I a failure for not being able to just grasp what I want to do? To fight for what I want?

Am I living my life, or am I just trying to keep peace and fulfilling my mum's expectation of what my life should be? Having the path being set ahead smoothly is just too ordinary, and realising that I've been behaving too good following my mum's directions till... I have no direction of life at all. Husky said I have too many directions, just not sure which to choose.

Which just end up same conclusion: I don't know what I want to do in life. Instead I was led blindly, following instructions, at the same time losing myself bit by bit each day.

At the age of 25, I just hope that I'll be able to find my purpose in life.

2019 Resolution: To be Fu Guai Po HAHAHAHAHA! Just kiddiiinngggg :D

Have not been taking a lot pictures last year. Hope to take more pictures this year!

B U J O

I've been trying Bullet Journaling (BUJO) since last year, but it turned out to be either very childish, or it's just plain boring.

Whenever I watch Youtube videos or visit Pinterest, I always feel amazed on how easy people do it. Like just a snap of fingers.

But I'm such a potatooooooo, even with the cheap Miniso colour brushes/pens that I bought, I can't seem to get a grasp of how should I use them.

I can't even write a nice 2 0 1 9 on the 1st page.

Sigh.

Risk

There are always risk.

First, risk in jobs we choose.

The risk of having a steady job with basic salary is getting retrenched. Looking at the technology nowadays, even banks are closing down their branches. Yes, it was considered a professional working in bank, but actually, all you need is a SPM cert to work in a bank. And with technologies replacing humans, you don't even need a SPM cert. You will be retrenched anyways.

Whereas the risk of having an unsteady job with no basic salary at all, well, there are so much risk. But just like investing, higher return comes with higher risk.

Second, risk in mode of transportation.

The risk of driving is, you langgar orang or orang langgar you. And jam. Peanut butter jelly jam. But of course, if there's no jam it can be super convenient because you don't need to wake up that early to go to work.

Whereas the risk of taking public transport is, you need to be very earlyyyyyyy otherwise you missed the buses and the trains and you'll need to be very frustrated especially when they don't come on time. And also taking public transport like Grab and taxis is a risk because you don't know if they are good or bad. News after news regarding bad things that happened are often very scary.

Third, risk in being involved in a relationship.

The risk of being in a relationship is that there are many ups and downs and sometimes you will have heart attack.

The risk of not being in a relationship is that you will have no risk at all!

Hahahahaha just joking. Finding topics to write and this just pop up in my mind.

Okay thanks bye.

成长

我又换工了。

2016年4月第一份工，对于这份工，我没有很认真。纯碎是不想继续躲在家过着闲聊的日子，等着交了阅历的公司的电话说要我去面试，等着面试了的公司打给我说录取我了。

等呀等呀，等到心急了，说好了不要录取我也会给我打通电话公司也没履行承诺，我想，这是现实的世界吧。都已经忙得不可开交了，当然把精力放在栽培刚录取的人，哪会还有时间打给那些面试失败的人。

悄悄在心里说好的只做半年，做下做下竟然做了一年半。而这一年半过得挺轻松，不用那么早起床，也准时放工。公司的政治话题永远是那种明明是超级小事但被他们夸大到很严重的事。

做了一年也开始犹豫了，到底该不该持续在这么舒服的环境里，还是是时候到外面闯一闯了。结果跑去交阅历、被叫去面试，到被录取。

就这样撇下会计的生活，开始销售的工作。如果说我在做第一份工时的生活像是没了心跳的反应一样只有一条横线，那我的第二份工就像是刚刚做了云霄飞车一样的起伏极大。

紧张，兴奋，焦虑，释怀，什么情绪都一涌而上。有开心，也有难过的，最好笑的是在自己的生日当天因为处理一些与销售无关的事处理得不好而惹上一些麻烦，害怕得哭了。

现在想回去超好笑的好不好！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。

8个月后，我又辞职了。

再辞职之前有想过好多或许不用辞职，又或许不需要离开公司的方法，因为这件事情难过了好久。后来，释怀了，决定离开。

现在这份工让我觉得付出100%，看到的酬劳也是100%，风险在于它不稳定，可是也代表它够flexible。

稳定的东西总是让人心安，却不能够让你成长；相反的，不稳定的东西能让你看到自己的能力能去到多远，当你真的成功的时候你得到的回报也很大。

这是我在比较这两份工的时候的想法。当然，如果我在第二份工做得很好的话那会更好，因为那是个即稳定又可以让你走出舒适圈的工作。

2018年6月，开始了第三份工。在此做个纪录，至少要做两年以上！！！

第一份工的公司近得可以走路去，第二份工的公司搭MRT能直接抵达，第三份工是跑来跑去的工，代表我必须开始学会驾车了。

想了想，我比别人的成长速度慢了好多好多。别人18岁开始驾车，我24岁才开始驾车，真对不起18岁时就拿到的驾驶执照。

换工是个挺累的事情，没有换老公换到酱多次就OK啦哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!!!!!!

Bye 2017!

2017 was a normal year, until October when I changed my job, it just turned my whole world upside down.

Tears and laughters were the main characters during the last 3 months of 2017, trying to cope with pressure but felt excitement too.

Me and Husky on the hand, we are so low profile until friends actually asked me whether we are still together or not. See la, never post pictures of me, I also lazy post your picture already hmph.

But we did venture different types of food, and did ice skating on our 1st anniversary, which wasn't that good because a cute kid flew towards my directions forgotten to brake and made me fall flat on my butt. OUCH.

Nevertheless, yeah we are still together thank you very much. Hahahahaha.


Ohhh and did I mention that he actually did his homework for the very FIRST TIME and brought me somewhere nice for Christmas dinner! Wow the wood is becoming better material each year! 😍😍😍

And I went to Taiwan and currently in Guangzhou (no doubt I'm writing this post in 2018 backdated in 2017 ahahahaha) but the culture is so much different.

My goals for 2018? To focus on my career. No doubt the pressure is there, but in a way I feel so alive and fulfilling. Unlike the retiree life in my previous job, nothing can compare the difference.

Also to grow closer to God, because a lot of times I neglect spending time with Him with the pressure of my work.

I can conclude that 2017 was a great great year, and may my 2018 be even better!

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hospitality

After reading Timothy Tiah's I WANTED TO BRING HOSPITALITY TO THE OFFICE. HERE’S WHAT I’VE LEARNED, I feel like this is really the type of service that we all want to have.

Especially when I have read through the 4th point which talks about allocating RM100 for each guest per day to make things more personal for the guests, such as buying food to cheer them up, or buying things that the guests are lacking of. And they have like 100 guests per day so makes it RM 100,000.00 per day!

Like wow! All accountants are sure to shake their heads, thinking no, no, we are not maximising our profits by doing this, in fact this expenditure is too large it cannot and should not be implemented.

I really hate it but.. I came from accounting background. HAHAHAHAHAHA SUCH AN IRONIC.

The truth is, by doing small things like this, you will gain long-term customers because you satisfy their needs. I've learned a lot of this when I was trying to build my online boutique business (Due to job changing. More updates on that soon!), that customers are more likely to come back and repurchase from you if you succeed in winning their hearts, i.e by giving them what they need or solving their problems.

This is so much important than cutting down expenses and maximising profit because you won't go far with it.

And with my current job (sorry I'm talking a bit bad about it haha) I find it very frustrating having so little amount of medical claim when the medical expenses nowadays are crazy. I would also need to reconsider of seeing the doctor if I'm sick on non-working days i.e Sunday or holidays as medical claims only can be done on working days. In long-term, I feel insecure with my job because I need to consider a lot of things and one of the most important thing when it comes to job security is medical. If I'm not healthy I would need to take MC and this will affect my work performance, which in turn affect the company operation.

It's the same as doing business as well. Caring for customers and meeting their satisfaction is far more important than maximising profits. Because it's not only the product itself that solves their problems, the trust and sincerity that the company gains play much important role in surviving the business long-term.

At the end it's not about money anymore. It's about relationships.


Let's hope my boss will be too busy to ever notice this post. Hahaha.

Stuck with You

I remember attending Melanie and Pr Daryl's wedding, and Pr Eric said something about his wife was very annoyed with his things putting all over the places because he simply puts them, and that those things don't have legs and won't walk to the place where they belong.

And then she said, but no matter what, we are stuck together okay.

I don't know how many people will be able to say these words, even sometimes I also have doubt with myself whether I can really stick with Husky, especially when some of his bad habits surface which I cannot tahan one.

It might sound pathetic to some, that we don't allow ourselves to have a choice to leave when we cannot tahan our partners, because we are stuck with each other. But if leaving is a backup plan, then how many partners we need to have, in order to be with each other for the rest of our lives? We will keep leaving, and start a new relationship with someone new, and when we cannot tahan, we leave again.


During the Sunday sermon just last week, Pr Eric mentioned that married couples (and even unmarried ones) are like two papers gluing to each other. When conflicts happen, the papers cannot be torn apart just because they have different opinions. No matter what couples must go through together every conflict and arguments and misunderstandings and miscommunication, but yet remain gluing to each other.

The easy part is always to remain silent and part their own ways, that way at least it's peaceful. But no, conflicts won't be resolved and there will always be a thorn in their hearts.


Husky and I are a lot different when it comes to opinions. Me being the emotional one, him being the rational one. I call him cold blooded sometimes, because when my emotion is like super excited or super down, he will be very steady.

For example, when I'm super excited, his response will be of a dead person's heartbeat rate. One straight line. SUPER COLD BLOODED. -.- But when I'm super down, he will comfort me by saying things of different perspective, and at the end he will say aiya, nothing one la. Of course to me it's not nothing one, but when I took a step back and see the bigger picture, it's actually really nothing one. Just that on the spot of course I was being very emotional la.

Over the time I guess we do learn a lot by conveying our thinking clearly to each other, even though sometimes we do feel like being quiet is the best option. But by that means we give up on communicating with each other and it's absolutely not the right way to strengthen our relationship.



Good or bad, we are stuck together, okay?

Church Wedding

Believe it or not, this is my first time attending a church wedding!

It was held in Luther Centre PJ, and before I forget, it's Pr Daryl and Melanie's big day!!

Pr Eric talked about what marriage is and that couples should not ever ever give up on each other. All of us have strengths and weaknesses, and that we need to learn to accept and forgive each other.

Me with the bride! 💖

I almost teared up during the bride-entered-hall-with-daddy process. Starting with 2 xiao mei mei throwing flowers to the audience, and a boy holding a pair of rings (have no idea got this part!), 2 bridesmaids and finally Melanie with her father. So touched!

Then they exchange vows and tadaaaa, they are officially husband and wife! *tears of joy*

Next we went to Elite Seafood Restaurant for 9-course luncheon. This is my first time attend a luncheon too!

Everything was so pretty and I can say that the whole event went very smooth, all thanks to God's grace! :)

:D

Feel so blessed to be able to attend this wedding. At the same time I realise that quite a number of my seniors are getting married too! I'm still waiting for my close friends to get married so that I can be a bridesmaid. Why is everyone not married yet?!