Discipline

This whole discipline thingy had make me gone crazy a bit here and there.


It's like, one needle see blood. That's a direct translation for self awareness. You know you gotta do something different, you know you gotta be more hardworking, enhance your strengths, overcome weaknesses, and when there's a problem arise, opinions from seniors leaders and boss will just appear in your head somewhere and you'll know what to do if you were them. But just that.....

But just that.


There's always this 'but just that' that crosses my mind and tell me to ignore their advices. The right way of doing things, the right solution to solve problems.

Whenever there's a negative enotion coming up, worries, doubts, insecure, I've come to a stage where other positive voices will auto appear and tell me to focus on solutions not problems. And this tiny voice behind my head will choose to lead the group and start ignoring those positive voices again.

This discipline thing really start to make me think deep, real deep, and sometimes it just make me breakdown a bit on what I really want and need.

When can I overcome my own voice and stop ignoring? When is this self awareness going to be big enough to take over my ignorance? I'm tired of avoiding problems, avoiding doing things that I hate to do which I know will bear fruit at the end.

But it really makes you think so deep, and you'll start wondering, are you going to love the life you're living for the rest of your life?