Piece By Piece - Kelly Clarkson - Sam Tsui & Kirsten Collins Cover

然后跳到另一首KHS的cover, Kelly Clarkson 的Piece By Piece, 也觉得很好听可是听歌词又好像不是情歌像是亲情的，去Google下原来讲述她的父亲在她很小的时候离开她现在做了妈妈会保护女儿老公也是个很好的爸爸。

怎知她现在也在搞着离婚。唉。

最近其实挺想学ukulele的。又小个，又容易学，又可以自弹自唱。

And all I remember is your back
Walking towards the airport, leaving us all in your past
I traveled fifteen hundred miles to see you
Begged you to want me, but you didn't want to

But piece by piece, he collected me up
Off the ground, where you abandoned things, yeah
Piece by piece, he filled the holes that you burned in me
At six years old and you know
He never walks away
He never asks for money
He takes care of me
He loves me
Piece by piece, he restored my faith
That a man can be kind and a father could stay

And all of your words fall flat
I made something of myself and now you wanna come back
But your love, it isn't free, it has to be earned
Back then I didn't have anything you needed, so I was worthless

But piece by piece, he collected me up
Off the ground, where you abandoned things, yeah
Piece by piece he filled the holes that you burned in me
At six years old and you know
He never walks away
He never asks for money
He takes care of me
'Cause he loves me
Piece by piece, he restored my faith
That a man can be kind and a father could stay

Piece by piece
Piece by piece
Piece by piece

Piece by piece
Piece by piece
Piece by piece

Piece by piece, I fell far from the tree
I will never leave her like you left me
And she will never have to wonder her worth
Because unlike you, I'm gonna put her first and you know
He'll never walk away
He'll never break her heart
He'll take care of things, he'll love her
Piece by piece, he restored my faith
That a man can be kind and the father should be great

Piece by piece
Piece by piece
Piece by piece

I Fall in Love Too Easily - Jayesslee (Cover)

今天狂听Spotify的歌。听Jayesslee 的其中一首cover, I Fall in love Too Easily, 很blues的歌觉得很好听，一直重复听。

I fall in love too easily
I fall in love too fast
I fall in love too terribly hard
For love to ever last
My heart should be well schooled
'Cause I've been fooled in the past
But still I fall in love so easily
I fall in love too fast
My heart should be well schooled
'Cause I've been fooled in the past
But still I fall in love too easily
I fall in love too fast

The Power of Significance

"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It's to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived well." - John C.Maxwell: The Power of Significance

You can be happy but not useful; If what you're doing is useful, it will lead you to happiness; It doesn't ask us to be unhappy. But being happy shouldn't be the main purpose of life. 

For example, some people just want to have sufficient food, a job, extra money for shopping, that's all. Their whole lives are just about themselves, maybe extend a little bit to what their family need. Most of the time they do things that are not important but definitely bring them joy.

Being useful can be defined as what are your contributions to your family, company, society and country. If one day you're not alive anymore, will people miss your presence? Or will your absence means no difference to them?

If you choose to contribute to your family, company, society and country, no matter how you do that, as long as you're doing something good for their sake, you're being useful and the things that you do make things better, you'll be happy because you know it's fulfilling. Else your whole life will be wasted doing nothing.

And before you die, will you wish that you can make a different choice and achieve something different when you have the chance to? I bet I will.

To be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived well, will take another post to elaborate, But meanwhile, just to be useful alone need a lot of thinking. 

There's always a purpose in living. 

Psalm 57:2 says, "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me." 
This is key in understanding God's purpose for our lives. God has numbered our days and will fulfill every purpose He has for us.

Productivity

2nd month of MCO has just passed. Well, not the whole 2nd month. But as at 30th of April, it has been a 44 days of MCO.

Throughout this 44 days, what have I done?

Basically thanks to my nature of job, and my boss of course, there’s no excuse for me to stop whatever I’m doing. First of all, we can always work from home, especially when we don’t have appointments. Second of all, my boss is 24/7 available to push us to keep going and never slow down.

In the beginning we were all excited to have “holidays”, so when we need to attend 2 meetings a day (book session in the afternoon daily including weekends and case studies at night, yes at night!) we struggled so much. After a month, we have gotten used to the habit.

But just one Sunday of no book session, our habits fall all over the place again haha.

Looking back, even though it’s MCO, but I’ve learnt a lot. From learning to cold call customers (we usually cold call property agents, hardly customers), to learning how to create videos with InVideo, analysing books and studying Douyin videos (books are not meant to be read, but analyse and apply on your own situation, while Douyin videos are all about business models that the Chinese are using), to training our brains on how to think and not focusing on doing only.

Not to mention, on what you will do, if companies around are closing down, and even the banking sector might not be able to survive, at least not our mortgage segment. So many things to learn, which are not foreseen by most of us. Our parents say that even the 513 incident is not even close to what’s going on right now.

For myself, I spent most of my me time reading. I’ve read The Girl with Seven Names: A North Korean Defector’s Story, and currently reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. First book is based on true story of a North Korean girl who had to change names several times to escape North Korea. You can’t imagine an 18 year old girl having to face so many challenges ahead. Her journey to freedom is so risky it can just take her life and her family’s lives anytime, but again and again, she met someone who’s kind enough to assist her. Now that she had finally achieved her freedom in USA. And she’s not the only one who escaped from North Korea. 

The 2nd book though not a real story, was said to be aspired by the true story of Elizabeth Taylor. It brings you to understand what a glamorous life that a Hollywood actress is living. And many of the true stories are not surfaced to the public. So it’s quite an interesting read, even though it’s fiction. Though I believe it does happens to a lot of celebrities in real life. 

Of course other than reading during me-time, I also read Christian books and books related to my job. Mostly on sales. It’s interesting to apply the Christian ways on my career. Sometimes I feel what I’ve read or what I’ve taught is towards the extreme way whereby life is not always, and not all about money and being successful. So I need to relate back the Christian way to make it balance back.

Other than reading, I also tried to make mango smoothie and scrambled egg! Mango smoothie was ok, but the scrambled egg, hmm, something weird but couldn’t figure out what’s weird. Hahaha.

Also I wanna try to learn more in shares investment, but seeing the ups and downs candles, so technical I just couldn’t understand how they really function. And those free seminars in FB.. I also couldn’t analyses who is really professional or only know how to blowwwww. Haha.

If one day MCO is really lifted up for good, I’ll be lazy to drive out already. From being ok staying at home, to the phase where I think I can go crazy, until now, getting lazy to go out. What’s the new norm? Everyone can stay at home because not everyone can fly already. 😅

I’m considered very blessed that I still have a job, and companies are still finding for ways to keep business running. Even if one day, come to worse, banking sector has huge changes that stop us from finding sales, I believe that with the skills we have learnt, we still can survive. But for those whose companies are considering shutting down, or even already closed down, I really do not know how are they are going to survive without income, now that demand is more than supply in terms of employment.

But no matter what happens..we always have hope everyday.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

MCO

This MCO has been 2 weeks. What started as just another normal flu became a worldly disease and is on the way to start recession.

After an increase of new cases in Malaysia, the government declares a Movement Control Order. It is not a lockdown, rather more to a partial lockdown where one still can go out to buy essentials.

When it started, a lot people are not getting used to it. ESPECIALLY THE UNCLES AND AUNTIES.

To me, it doesn't affect me much because first of all, due to my nature of work, sometimes when I don't need to go for appointments and nobody wants to meet up, my home is my office. So on and off I already was working from home. Second of all, I appreciate having some time to read HAHAHAHA.

A lot people are taking it casually, taking the 2 weeks time off to have a lot of me-time, ie cooking, reading (THAT'S ME), working out, chasing dramas episode after episode, etc etc. But what they don't realise is, outside their comfort home, there are so many things happening. The frontliners, the medical officers/nurses/paramedics, the polices/armies, the delivery drivers, and many more, they are all still working, doing their part during this difficult times. And the smaller businesses are facing difficulties getting profit because they cannot operate, and the employees, they are facing retrenchment. But all of these seems to be not noticed by certain people as they continue their comfort in their house, and the only things that seems troubling them (and us too) is what to eat.

After 1 week, extension of MCO was announced. Not a surprise, I guess it's more to a relief. With the cases increasing at least 100 per day, there's no way we're allowed to go out, it's not safe yet. It's like we're a bunch of people being caged in a place and lions are outside waiting to pound upon us when the door is opened. Yikes.

Even my parents say that the situation now is far more worse than the recession times in 1997/1998. Wow, must be such a historical moment for us to witness and be able to go through this phrase.

Nevertheless, it's a worldwide thing now, and we all are going to get through it.

Psalm 91

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

Words

These 2 months are a roller coaster for me. Not related to my career, God has somewhat helps me to stabilise my job to face another challenge.

The “do not judge” challenge.

It all started when my colleagues knew that I was away during CNY, not accompanying my parents but I went to Husky’s hometown instead. They were shocked. Like, really. They made a huge fuss until I felt 莫名其妙 and 委屈 at the same time. What in the world are you guys thinking?

I tried to explain, but it made things worse. I felt so, so terrible that day. Other than being stress for work and used to be stress with my mum regarding my job, I’ve never felt this terrible before.

It’s like I was drowning, and nobody was there to rescue me. Things got worse when I was being lectured by my boss, and I was so disappointed till I had no emotions left.

I kept asking myself, the definition of being a good daughter. How does not spending CNY with my parents made me a bad daughter? So all the good things that I’ve done as a good daughter were instantly swept under the carpet and are not surfaced anymore?

I just felt so bad, so terrible. Having the pressure of being the only child in the family is stressful enough and I had to force myself to not overpressure myself, and yet this statement? Am I really a bad child for not spending CNY with my parents? Am I?

Besides the emotional side, my rational side also got me thinking: Have I ever judged other people when I do not know the whole story? The answer is yes.

One of God’s commandments is do not bear false witness. As humans, we often perceive what is on the surface. Those worldly eyes... when will we learn to see things the way God sees things?

After 2 weeks, I thought I had put this incident aside, until that day I just broke down and cried for more than an hour in front of Husky (poor him, see me cry almost every weekend ahahaha) and didn’t know the reason of crying. Until I stopped crying and realise that I didn’t let go of this incident at all. I was holding the grudge, the resentfulness inside me was so deep that it’s eating me up. I was angry, upset with my colleagues. I understand that they were concern over me, but their concern made me worse, and my boss being his usual self, did not ask for more details but had labelled me straight. I was disappointed because as a boss I had expected him to have more mature thinking by not judging, but...it’s him. So yeah.

I didn’t tell my mum about this incident until one day, she was sad over an old incident. Only I spilled it out to her, she said it was very ok for me to go to Husky’s hometown, and my colleagues were just not understanding because CNY to us is nothing, especially when my grandparents are not here anymore, and Christmas is more important in fact. Trust me, my CNY holidays are always so dull it looks like an extended weekend because I’ll be going to the places where I go usually during weekends.

I kept having this resentfulness towards one of my colleagues because I had told her not to tell my boss but she still insisted. I felt that she did not respect me as a colleague or even friend. Until that day I read Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

It’s so tired if you’re having this grudge onto someone. I hate that feeling so much, because it seems that no matter how good that person treats you, everything just seems so wrong. It seems like God is nudging me to have courage and talk to her bout this situation, because the following week we need to work together as a team. So I waited for the right opportunity, and I spilled how I felt to her, and she told me her opinion as well. 

Conclusion was, nobody is wrong in this picture, just that our directions are different, I wouldn’t want to force them to accept my situation, at the same time I wouldn’t like it if they use their ruler to measure my shirt, which they did. Lol ok that’s a direct translate from a Chinese proverb.

I still do make quick judgments/statements nowadays, but I’ve learnt to stop my thoughts quickly, and try to think in a different way. Sometimes I still need people to remind me, I still do. But I think that in this season of life, God wants me to learn on not judging people with my worldly eyes. And to offer as a listener and show compassion to people who are upset for being misunderstood. 

I always say this, and I still do: being a Christian is not easy at all. Especially when I’m still not walking the ways God wants us to walk, and I’m still not being able to show the love and compassion God wants us to show. Especially to Husky. How is he going to accept Christ when I'm not doing the right thing? With my bad explanations on certain things, sometimes he misunderstood Christianity but I’ve failed to let him see the clearer picture. 

Nevertheless, it’s a good lesson for me to guard my mouth and be wise with my words. And also I wouldn’t know that Husky is so protective to me that he wants to sort things out with my boss HAHA. Being someone who doesn’t like to trouble others, this is indeed a different side of him. 😝

“God wants you to know that sometimes God allows us to go through certain difficult times, even as a result of wicked actions by others. Yet whatever we have to endure, no matter how unfair or unjust , we can be sure that God will use it for good.”

Mental Health

During my stay in Husky’s hometown, I’ve plenty of time. Other than reading books, I also watch dramas and movies.

 The drama that I watched is The World Between Us (我们与恶的距离), a Taiwanese drama recommended by a colleague. It came to our conversation when we were discussing about the  Joker movie. 

Thank God The World Between Us is only 10 episodes. I don’t know how others manage to “chase drama” which has at least 25 episodes, watching 2 episodes straight already made me feel tired haha! #gettingold

Summary of the drama: What is it to be like to be a family member of a mass shooting murderer? When victim’s family members have the rights to be angry, upset, and remorseful about what had happened to their love ones, what bout the family members of the murderer? How frustrated they are when the blame is on them just because the family somehow “produced” a murderer? They don’t have the rights to complain that they are rejected and discriminated by the society, and they don’t have the rights to continue their life and be happy, just because their family member had cause a heartache to the society.

I remember very clearly when the mother of the murderer said this sentence: “ You all think that I’ve wasted 20 years of my life just to raise a murderer?!”

A lot of mass shooting murderers have the same trait worldwide: that prior to the shootings, they behave like normal, not a bit of bitterness even. And they are good kids and nobody would have thought that they would do something like this.

And thus, even though the murderer is sentenced to death, the lawyer keeps on insisting on knowing what’s the reason behind the mass shooting. If only we can find out the core reason, instead of pressuring the government to sentence the murderers to death, we might be able to stop even more mass shootings from happening. Which I do agreed, because a person won’t just wake up one day and decide that oh I’m going to murder people today. No they don’t, but it must be something that happened to them in the past which accumulates and triggers them to “do something big”. It can be feeling inferior, or being told negative words over and over again. That can spark someone to want to prove to others that no, I’m not who you say I am. And I’m going to do something to proof you wrong, in a wrong way.

And the media industry has also been diverted to wrong direction these years, especially with social media. What you see, might not be the whole truth. And people just like to comment based on what they see. If only we can stop judging, stop misinterpret what we know, we wouldn’t have caused so many suicidal cases.

But I must also admit one thing which is humans’ hearts nowadays seem to be more fragile then ever. Back then our grandparents and parents era, they seem to be able to do whatever they want, and ask ways have the bravery to face the world and accept new challenges. But now it seems that we’re unable to face any negativity that’s thrown to us. We’ve lose the courage to live, so we choose to avoid life and face death. 

And then I watched Joker.

This is a movie that I’ve avoided watching because it was depressing. Or so I heard. And perhaps I’ve been watching The World Around Us, so it wasn’t that depressed when I watch Joker. And also maybe I was sleepy when I watched it, I thought it was kinda draggy and was hoping that Joker can stop laughing. It was of the same theme as The World Around Us, being bullied and discriminated. One fine line distinguishes a person from being bullied to bullying people back or to ignore the naysayers and be a stronger person. Just one fine line, will lead to so many incidents afterward. 

But surprisingly Joker doesn’t touch my heart the way The World Around Us touched mine. Maybe the latter involves more on families and I got to learn different perspective, be it family members of mass shooting murderer, family members of victims of mass shooting, family members of mental health issues patients, and also how the society perceive these people. So it covers more on a wide range of perceptions. 


But life’s exciting, isn’t it? If only we put down our fragile hearts and judgmental eyes , and use our lives to help those who need us. 

2020

This is the year I’m turning 26 years old.

I don’t know bout you, but to me, Wednesday means it’s going to be weekends soon. And 26 year old means I’m reaching 30 year old soon.

25 years old was still a going-to-be-an-adult-but-not-quite-adult age for me. It was a trial and error year because I feel that I’m still young and I can still keep trying things.

But when 2020 is here, I was just suddenly awaken to the reality that, hey, I’m an adult already, gotta take responsibility seriously now. In 5 years time I probably be someone’s wife, someone’s mum, someone’s boss, my parents are getting older and I haven’t achieve anything big yet.

I still have a lot of to-do lists, and my goal to be healthier and slimmer has again being brought forward to this year. And I failed to attend at least 1 workshop in The Craft Crowd last year, be it modern calligraphy or brush lettering.

Why are goals not achieved? Maybe because we’re not serious about it and we have the tendency of making excuses to do it later. Later this week, this month, this year. Before you know it, poof, 2019 has disappeared and you have no power to bring it back.

Breaking down goals make it seemingly easier to achieve. Just like running marathon, achieving 2km bit by bit is far more easier than running 42km straight. But the goal remains: to finish the race.

And nope, running a marathon is never on my list. Bahaha.

Reading a book a month, yes. A lot of times I find myself wasting so much time on social media browsing other people’s stories that I didn’t use it fully to at least read a chapter a day.

I also promise myself something: that when I’m indecisive, I’ll choose the tough road. Then I’ll stop wasting time weighing the decisions. But instead when decision is made firmly, I’ll focus more on what to do and how to do to achieve it. ALSO, I’ll put in 110% of effort in doing something, and leave the results to God. It’ll save me so much of heartache and sleepless nights, knowing that I’ve already done my best and let God take care of the rest. Many times I didn’t put in maximum effort and only did the surface job, which causes a lot of  “if only I’ve done that, if only I’ve done this” regretfulness.

Also! I want to get a hobby, probably reading fiction books to release stress. I’ve been focusing too much on work last year, and due to lack of discipline, I always drag my work and do useless stuff.  So I would also like to set a timeline for everything, so that things can be done within the timeline and do not bring too much of future stuff to do it now. And allocate maybe half or one hour for reading just to take my mind off work.

Basically I would like to practice no wasting time this year, and see a change in my result.

Cheers!

Review of 2019

So I’ve summarised a list of  top 18 things that had happened in 2019.

1. My mum finally let me drive!
It’s not really a thing to remember but for someone who only gets to drive when she’s 25 year old, this is definitely something that I want to record it down. Thanks to my persistence of not leaving my current job, I was forced to speak to my mum about driving and my mum was forced to let me drive. Haha. Indirectly force la ok. Also she has let me fetched her few times to shopping malls, dropping her off while I went to my appointments and fetched her back home. It’s a good sign! 🥰

2. In total I travel to 9 different places, which includes 3 different countries and 4 different local states. First I went to Kuantan for company kick off in Jan, Hanoi during my birthday while following my dad to work, but it wasn’t a pleasant trip actually 😅 Then in May, I went to Hokkaido with my parents! Otaru was the place I love the most in the whole trip. In June I went to Johor, Husky’s hometown for the 1st time, meeting his parents for the 1st time as well ngehehe #nervous, and also I went to Bangkok with my colleagues (semi-free trip by Allianz as I accidentally hit the challenge haha) Then in October I went to Malacca, local trip with parents after all these years of not going to local for holiday, and went to Krabi for company trip again, this time is for Halloween! Almost all of my colleagues went and it was very very fun. From walking the streets with our Halloween costume to island hopping and conquering the whole swimming pool for monkey games, it was just so, so fun. And in November, I went for a team review trip in Penang. It was ages since I went there as well, but other than getting massage, all I remember was overused my brain for review purpose. Haha. But of course, it was a fruitful trip as it helps me to understand myself better. The next day I arrived in KL from Penang, I got to pack and depart to Phuket the next day! Everyone was saying that I might as well sleep in airport hahaha #mymumplansone

3. After 25 years, finally I started indoor wall climbing. It was a childhood dream come true. I wanted to climb when I was small, and I remember having the chance to try in a shopping mall (which I think is also in One Utama) but I didn’t because I was wearing long skirt. Actually it didn’t matter because it was just a short climb, probably I was afraid back then. And this year Nek wanted to try, so both of us went for Camp5’s Basic Wall Course and started to climb. By the end of the year, even Husky tried it because of his friends. Somehow I like bouldering more. Maybe not as mafan as the Top Rope where you need a person to belay you, and not as scary as the Autobelay because when you come down, you fly down. I mean free fall. IT IS SCARY. 😖😫 Maybe i should try Bump in Jaya One next year.

4. After 3 years of dating, finally I met Husky’s family! Road to Johor was tiring, even when I’m not the one driving. Haha. I was kinda worried that I can’t mix with his family but the 1st thing that his mum said when we arrived was: “神经病啊你，回来没有讲!” [You siao ah, come back never say!] Then I also echo her words, saying ya la he la, don’t want tell you he’s coming back. But thank God they are very nice to me and I feel just like home with them.

5. I moved out from my house. A week. To opposite street. Husky’s house. HAHAHAHAHA. Pardon me for laughing for running away from home, that time wasn’t funny at all. But now to think of it, IT IS FUNNY. Because I packed 5 luggages, and moved to Husky’s house which is just opposite street. And because when I moved out my parents weren’t at home, so when I came back with 5 big luggages my mum looked me at one kind. 🤣 Reason of moving out is work related of course. But we eventually managed to overcome it. ☺️

6. Did I mention that I travel to 9 different places? Actually I was wrong. It was 10 places! If you considered hospital as one of them. 😏 So I was diagnosed with dengue, and hospitalised for 6 days. My total bill for 6days5nights were around RM 15k, technically one of the finest “hotel” that I ever stayed in. It was terrible, but at the same time I felt grateful. Terrible because I needed to take 4 times blood test a day to monitor my white blood cells and platelet count, sometimes the nurse can’t find my vein and cause super pain and blue black to me. It was terrible also because I was so itchy I couldn’t sleep, literally scratched myself to sleep; and the dripping machine beeping sound was my worse nightmare. Grateful because I had appetite to eat after the 1st day of admission, I know I’m going to be well soon but it all depends on my report. Also grateful because I survived. A friend’s  friend and a lawyer of our company passed away due to dengue not long after my discharge. It was creepy to hear the news, being a survivor of the same condition.

7. I changed my phone! It’s a small thing but it’s still a good thing. The phone I want was out of stock and we went to few places before managed to get it in The Gardens.

8. For the 1st time I watched concert in Genting with my parents and Husky and also my colleagues. It was free tickets by the way, and the singer wasn’t someone very famous but it was a good experience anyway.

9. My parents experienced trees fallen on their car when they were coming back home during a rainy day. The windscreen cracked, the side mirrors were broken, couldn’t start the car either, thank God for people who came and helped to remove the fallen branches, one even took a parang and chopped off thicker branches. Thank God my parents weren’t hurt, and thank God for angels around them. 😇

10. After the fallen trees incident, while my dad was waiting for the car to be fixed, he ended up being promoted and gotten another new company car. God’s timing is always perfect. :’)

11. Husky got a full time job! At least now his life is better than before. :’)

12. One of our extended family members got himself a major trouble and is currently serving his punishment while waiting for results, but at least he’s protected.

13. Dad got a free MiBand 3 from lucky draw!

14. I got closer to Bernice this year, probably due to similar family background and we are also MRT kakis haha!

15. Husky and I attended 2 weddings this year, one is my ex-colleague and another is his badminton friend. So many of our friends got hitched this year. But 2 weddings are enough la haha #toomanyredbombs

16. Met up with my high school buddies, Hezrin and Auni after 5 years OMG. These people ah, need to force them out from house one only they are willing to come out and see me. #willseethemagaininnext5years 😒

17. This year is a gadget year as Husky gave me a power bank and hard disc as gifts for me this year haha!

18. FINALLY IN A MILLION YEARS I SEE COLOUR ON MY HAIR! Got my hair dyed brown in salon for the 1st time. Last 2 times I used self-dyed bubble wash but I need to be under the sun only can see the colour. I wasn’t sure whether I like my new hairstyle either at first, but it was okay after that.

So these are my top 18 highlights of 2019. Hope that 2020 will be a better one as I get rid of my weaknesses and use them as my strengths! Changes aren’t easy but it helps in growing. Especially when I’m turning 26 next year! Feel like turning into 30 anytime soon. 😂

思考

那天看到8tv主持人很大方地访问2位本地艺人有没有机会再一起，毕竟两人都单身。

我一听，就觉得奇怪。

明明那男的前几年已经求婚了，怎么主持人会问这样荒谬的话？再想一想，主持人也没有可能那么笨去得罪一大班人，所以就很好奇地去谷歌一下。

才发觉到，原来求婚的2个月后，他们就分手了。

在一起8年，最大的问题是缺乏陪伴，让女方没安全感，一直吵架。男的事业心重，想的或许也是未来想给对方好日子过，奈何在事业和爱情甚至家庭当中失去了平衡，让女生没办法继续走下去。

我想，如果不是那一刻的求婚，或许他们还在一起。因为一个求婚，或许让女方意识到，如果连平时都不能接受男方不在身边，结婚后就更难了，毕竟看的是未来至少50年的日子。可能这一求婚，让女方更清醒，更果断地作出决定。


很多人在一起很多年，没缘分一起走到最后；有些在一起没多久就结婚，因为对的时间，遇到对的人。

也有些人，在一起不长也不短，结婚后偏偏才发现原来对对方的了解没有想象中那么深，开始为了芝麻绿豆小事争吵，然后后悔，然后离婚收场。

你需要用多少时间去了解一个人？因为这些年周围所发生的人事物，或许会改变一个人。当初认识的他，不再是现在的那个他。


你怎么会知道，那是对的时间，和对的人？结婚真的只要互相爱对方就可以了吗？就这么简单吗？那么那份爱，要多么地深，才可以在不管发生什么事情之下，依然不离不弃对方？

婚姻是一辈子的事情，没有人愿意离婚收场，所以一点也不容易经营。

还是其实婚姻没有我想象中那么复杂？