Imperfection

I was reading the post by Ps Chris Kam regarding whether there is a perfect husband/wife out there and being the marriage counselor, what he writes really sinks in deeply in me.


There is no such thing as a compatible couple. The moment you think you are, you will be in for a big surprise because living together in the same house is a whole new ball game altogether with both coming from completely different family background and culture. 

Before marriage, when they have a disagreement, they can go home and not see each other for a while until things cool down. When they are married, they do not have such a luxury. There is no "going home" because they are at home. They sleep on the same bed in tension. They just need to work things out eventually and conflict resolution is an important skill of learning to listen, negotiate and compromise. I would call that the skill of adapting. 

Therefore the issue is not about compatibility, but adaptability. Learning to adapt is a posture of love. It is not about what we can get out of a relationship only, but how we can give to it. 

There is no perfect husband or wife out there. If you find one, don’t marry that person because you will make him or her imperfect! Worse still, you will be terribly disappointed and disillusioned over a broken dream because there is no such perfection.


I totally agreed with the last paragraph because that was exactly what I felt in the past half year. Not until the stage where I would marry that guy, but just as a crush, I felt the huge disappointment. Note to self: Fall in love at first sight is really dangerous. Because when you get to know more about the person you'll soon realise he's nothing near to your so-called 'dreams', and your heart will be broken into pieces. Not that mine was broken, anyway. :P


By putting ourselves in the shoes of others and allowing our hearts to feel compassion, we can help those who are hurting. We can be near them as God is with us and sit close to them.