I like how you're always annoyed by me.
I like how you jump and laugh whenever I poke you.
I like how you put your hand around my shoulder and pat my head.
I like how you always ask me to go first so that I don't need to see you leaving.
I like how you insist to see me everytime I ask you not to come because you're busy.
I like how you say some geli words sometimes, though they make me feel cold hahaha.
I like how you always need to clean up my mess because I always eat in such a clumsy way.
I like how you are always able to see through me, and that behind my over-bright/dark attitude is another side of me which not many people will be able to see.
Overall, I like everything about you.
Some people say, why don't you wait until you start working, maybe you'll meet nicer guys who at least have stable jobs, or who have better criteria than him? Especially since you have been waiting for 21 years, and are relieved that you didn't start being in a relationship in the earlier days when you have the chances because you'll definitely regret doing so. So why not wait for another year or two?
Some people have been telling me, he's really a nice guy, why don't you guys just make it official now? Why wait?
Such contrast situations yet so true. Why not wait? Why wait?
To me, I didn't wait because I know that, yeah, there are people out there who have better criteria than him. In fact I don't need to look so far. Even some of my own classmates are financially independent. Some of them even bought houses. And if you want to say guys who have better criteria, honestly, I already know a few.
BUT.
To find someone who loves me and cares for me the way he does, I don't think anyone will be able to do that. Of course, you may say, you haven't date them also, how you know they won't treat you the way he treats you? I just can say, I just knew it. As friends, I see their ups and downs in their relationships, I know their perspective of how a relationship should work, and it's different from mine. A relationship won't work if two people don't have the same vision.
Well, the ultimate reason of all is, we don't have chemistry with each other la. Too 'family' already. If no chemistry, what for we talk about perceptions and visions right. Hehehehe.
And I wait, because I know I cannot handle if anything bad happens. I always look back to what happened 5 years ago, getting back the heartwrenching feeling because I totally fall into him without thinking. It's like, more than 150% of my heart is with him. Even though I know it was just another one-way interaction.
I know that we are not able to avoid problems and real arguments in a relationship, as we haven't reach the stage where we finally get to seeee 100% of each other's personalities, but I just want to finish off my final final finals so that, touchwood, anything not so nice happens, I will not need to deal with exams at the same time. I'll be graduating soon and I wouldn't want to ruin it. And of course, if anything happens, people will be blaming on him for influencing me blah blah and blah.
Okay it's actually my own problem. I know I cannot handle it. At least I didn't put 150% feelings on him now. Though sometimes I feel like we're more than that but.. I hope he understands and believes that my door is opened just for him. Ooops Dr Liew. Hi there. You can go now.
Just that I haven't use a lock and lock the door only. Ahahahaha.
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard
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