So I decided to go back to the first day of this year to see whether I fulfill my new year resolutions or not.
Guess what?
 |
| Write on my book? |
WHAT BOOK?!
Seriously, I have no idea what I was mentioning about. It's not my diary because I don't write this kind of things in my diary. My planner on the other hand, also no. Or maybe it's my planner, I don't know. Hahaha.
So... 2015 huh. Final year of degree. You know I know. Went to Shanghai and experienced winter for the first time, until I fell sick (I fell sick when I was in Vietnam last year because the weather was too HOT -.- ), but no, tak ada snow. Went to Bangkok for the 2nd time hehe.
Not-actively participated in the events of SUMC, only appeared during the day itself HAHA, performed for the first and last time, went to prom for the first and last time.
Got few meet-ups with highschool friends, I know I'm such a popular person till they keep on asking me to yumcha with them and if I don't my head will be chopped off. Lol. Syok sendiri betul. Ahaha.
Learn that there will be never-ending politics + drama whether it's internal or external of societies. As I mentioned, I wasn't actively involved. But I got to know a few bedtime stories here and there.
Went to YA every Friday for the 1st sem only. :\ Because YA stopped during 2nd sem and I didn't have classes on Fridays in 3rd sem. Went to church camp for the very first time. A very great experience and certainly would like to go to more church camps. Really helps in growing spiritually. :') Talking about God, it seems that Daddy is getting nearer in accepting Christ and that's the best news ever throughout the whole year. :')))
Nek had a 360 degree in her relationship. Hehe. Really gave me heart attack that few months. *wipe sweat* Thank God I'm still alive. As long as you're happy, then it's worth it. After all, it's already 8 months. :)
Last but not least, yes, I got a bf. After having crushes on 2 guys who are suitable only for admiration. I guess I really do things that shocked people. Just like that time when Husky and Nek thought I will choose matcha flavour for ice cream macaroon. In the end I surprised them by choosing blackcurrant flavour. Haha. Yes, I didn't date one of the 2 guys that I had crushes but I'm with a person other than the 2 guys.
How it happened exactly? Haha I don't know either. But to prevent myself from getting hurt, I found out that I chose to love myself much more than I love him. And misunderstandings occurred because I don't understand him enough. I have doubts, I feel insecure, I think too much. The "puppy love" period only lasted for 3 months plus, where we focus just on falling in love. After that, all serious issues poured in. It indicates that, we are still lacking of love for each other and sometimes we began to part ways, in terms of thinking.
I do hope that 2016 will be a year where plannings can be turned into actions. Not hope, but must. One of my goals, other than finding a permanent job, is actually to allocate some money to have a short vacation with you at the end of next year. But before that, we still have problems to settle. Instead of having fear of the future, I decided to cut short the 'future' into one year, where we work together to solve issues. The issues that only can be solved if we are to sit down and discuss together on what can be done. If this method can lead to happier life, why not?
Here's to a new year where you guys will really tick all of your resolutions. If you have any, that is. :P
Father I'm putting my longings and burdens on You at the end of this year because I know You care for me and can work powerfully. Thank You that I and my loved ones are in Your care. :)
当钟声响起时，烟花也随着各地而绽放。我站在阳台，感受到冷风吹来，好冷好冷。
就好像当你说你不知道的时候，我心的温度一样，好冷好冷。
如果当初没有爱，哪来的结婚打算哪来的见家长？我不是你拿去炫耀的物品，不是你标明“我终于有女朋友”的东西。
半年了，如果这感觉不是爱，不是喜欢，那，是什么？
陪衬？精神寄托？花瓶？
一句我不知道，一句我选择保持沉默，让我的心在这一天，裂了。
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