FYI, I already worked for a month plus, and the company I'm working for is not a big company. It's a small cosmeceutical company (I didn't even know the word cosmeceutical exists hahahaha) and it's so near to my house until the stage where I can see it from my balcony. SERIOUSLY.
It's never in my thoughts that I'll be working for this type of company.
We always lose to God. In fact, we never win.
I like planning, but I know that it's just a blueprint, nothing solid. It's like asking me to confirm the weather on a particular day, it may appear as anticipated, it may not.
After graduating from university, I don't know which road to go. So I was like, God, what are you planning for me? Can just give me some hints ah?
And He did. But it was just to test me on how much faith I have in Him. Even before sitting for my finals, I attended the career fair in MidValley, submitted my resume and out of 6 companies, 3 contacted me, and I went for interview for one of the companies but turned out to be a no.
After finals, a chance to work in Singapore was given, somemore this job isn't one of the jobs that I ever considered, and it literally found me rather than me finding this job. I went to Singapore for interview, I was happy because I favour this working opportunity too, but it didn't work out. Clear rejection wasn't given, so I waited and waited and waited.
Of course, at first I prayed that if it's God's willing for me to go, then I go la! If not, then I'll search elsewhere. But hor, I badly wanted to go.
So I ask God again.
"God, I thought You are directing me to that road. You provided me a chance and everything was arranged. I just lack of that one final step. I just need one confirmation from the company and it will be the start of my career."
Why one final step? Because accommodation is the biggest issue and it turned out that the house of the room that my cousin sister is currently renting there has another vacancy, just that I need to share with another girl. So accommodation checked. Then price of food. It wasn't until I really explore Singapore only I knew that the food there is super... cheap. You can eat a bowl of noodles for S$ 4 onwards. Some even S$ 3.50. In Malaysia the starting price is probably RM 5 or even some places RM 5.50. Food checked.
Do I even need to mention the efficiency of their MRT?! The train comes every 2minutes or so, and even though the distance from my cousin sister's house to the workplace is around half an hour, I need to transit at one of the stations, the good thing is that the train line that I need to change is just in front of the existing train line. I don't need to go down a level or walk for another 10 minutes (inside the station ah) to reach another train line. Transportation checked.
By the way why Singapore is one of the most expensive country to live is because of their limited land. So the houses are super duper expensive. Food is okay, clothes are okay, transportation okay, but the house that you need to live in, the roof that is on top of your head, makes it tough for people to afford buying it.
Also, this job which is sales-related helps me in knowing more people and be more financial literate. Career checked. Now I just need one call from them to hire me officially.
Of course, the other reasons are I want to learn to be independent and live without my parents, and also there was a terrible issue going on and I badly want to escape from it.
I even list down the advantages one by one to God. How silly of me. As if God doesn't know anything.
"God, you see ah, if I go here right, I'll be able to blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah and even blah blah blah blah blah! There are so many things that I'm able to achieve lea!"
Again, I guess God was being annoyed that I'm trying hard to tell Him the things that He already knew.
I was so upset that I didn't receive any confirmation or firm rejection (hello, at least send me an email la aduh) until I wailed to God and say "But I really want to gooo-oo-oo-ooo-oooooooooo--------- at least la tell me if I kena rejecttttt-ttttt--ttttttttttttttttttttttteddddddd"
I wanted this job so badly, until I felt so frustrated and even cried.
Nek was pretty worried for me and asked me to apply for other companies meanwhile waiting instead of sitting there waiting for an unknown future.
And I began to wonder if this is really not the road that God desires me to go. So yeah, I started to be a sloth and applied for other companies. At a point I even applied for 3 positions in the same company. Lol.
I also started to read Trusting God Day by Day by Joyce Meyer.
It's all about trusting God and have faith in Him, but deep inside my heart I was still struggling. Still struggling for something that might not be His will for me.
As I began to sink in that not getting any calls from the company means that I'm either rejected or being KIV (though they did mentioned before that they will send me an email if they reject me, but I didn't receive any), I called the number of a small company that my Mum gave me which she saw it last month.
I wanted to treat it as a stepping stone while searching for other corporate jobs hoping they might give me a call and perhaps I have the chance to join them. I just couldn't bear to stay at home doing nothing anymore.
It turned out that the salary was quite good for a small company, and as I slowly pull myself out from wanting the other job, I began to think of what I can learn in this small company. It has its own advantages as a small company but of course if you're someone who wants to climb the corporate ladder, it might not be suitable for you.
Maybe God wants to teach me how to handle the accounts if I ever really going to start my own business and this is the best opportunity to learn because He knows how much I want to be involved in entrepreneurship. Maybe God wants me to learn how to be humble. Don't look at the currency or other advantages that I was offered. Start small. Maybe. We really don't know what is God's plans for us but as we stop struggling and let God take care, we will know eventually, the lessons that God wants us to have.
But now, after a month plus, as I learn to let go of my own inner desires and let God lead me, I immediately felt like the heavy burden in my heart has been removed. Sure, if I insist of going to Singapore to find other jobs I can do so. I can temporary stay at my cousin sister's house while hunting for jobs. But what for? It's a waste of money and time where I can spend with my parents.
Throughout April I've been receiving calls and emails from few corporate companies, even till this day I'm still receiving calls. This tells me that if you want to apply for a job, unless the company is desperately seeking for replacement, it will take at least a month to two months to get their respond.
And I kinda know what was the reason of my not-so-obvious rejection from the Singapore company. I asked the wrong question. Hahaha. I had the self-centered attitude and totally forgot to mention about being an asset for the company. I'll blog about my interview/holiday in Singapore later on. :D
So, a month plus had passed. I can say that my working scope is quite my comfort zone, it's quite basic stuff, but without this basic stuff, a business can't survive long. I can say that I'm very, truly satisfied, at this very point of life.
Where will I be, after a year? Absolutely no idea. But God knows. And His plans are always perfect. Let go of your inner desires, and trust Him. :)
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